When I was a stay at home mom I longed for what I thought was a more stimulating environment. As a full time working mom I longed for more quality time in my home and with children. I needed to find away to speak to the career woman in me without sabotaging the quality of life in my home. My goal was to build a more comfortable yet stimulating environment for myself and my family. I needed to find time for work, homeschool; I just needed to do a good job of building support systems, all while staying organized. Sounded easy enough in my head but actually pulling it off was an altogether different story.
We all know that it can be hard to be at home with children 24/7. They take an enormous amount of energy, time, and attention. At times it's exhausting and can leave you depleted.
What if I told you it does not have to be this way! It's possible to create such a warm, welcoming & relaxing home, that you never want to leave. There are woman who would never imagine leaving their children for work, or anything else for that matter.
On the other hand, working while parenting is challenging but in a different way. When you work and parent you are managing two different lives, each with relationships and responsibilities. You can’t dare let anyone down! Some women become so committed to their work lives that their family suffers tremendously. For some reason they seem to believe there is more at stake by doing poorly at work. Let me be the one to tell you that there is no greater job than being a mother. the risk of being a poor parent can give you horrible repercussions in this life and potentially in the next.
Sad to say for many women there work is their safe place. They feel more in control and most days have a really good time interacting with other career driven adults. They use their brains to solve problems, work under deadline pressure, and get paid for doing it. This allows them to receive appreciation, which at home is seldom. They truly believe they're being good mothers because they work and in many households they have no choice but to work! They are usual the head wage earners in the family and have never felt the attachment of motherhood. For women like this it is easy for them to disconnect from mothering all together. They rather be at work than at home, changing diapers, running after toddlers, or arguing with their husbands about who’s going to get up in the middle of the night.
Clear signs of Role Reversal!
I however, was searching for the middle coarse. How could this work home balance be established. How can I be a stay at home mother without neglecting me. How can I work without neglecting my family. I was beginning to feel unsuccessful at home. As a stay at home mother, we don’t appreciate ourselves. We discount and downplay how much we accomplish in a day and minimize how hard it really is. We can all find someone who is doing more or juggling more than we are. However it doesn’t mean we’re not enough. This feeling comes from the degrading role society has given to mothers who choose to stay home and care for their children. Right off we are looked at as being lazy. Often we play in to this stereotype and begin to feel we are lazy.
Employment has many benefits for women, including increased financial resources, a sense of achievement, and reduced social isolation, all of which can benefit health. Additionally, some research has indicated that women who occupy multiple roles (mother, worker, spouse) experience better mental and physical health than women who occupy one or two roles.
For me, when having multiple roles, the stresses of one role may be offset by the rewards of another. To be continued...